inbredmonkey (inbredmonkey) wrote,


Well, I'm finally a full-fledged furry... first emo LJ post! YAY!

After three and a half weeks of nonstop ecstasy, euphoria, and general happiness, I'm finally experiencing the post-FurCon crash.

Dunno why, exactly... I'm just feeling overwhelmed and confused. And that's coming out as depression.

A lot of it revolves around sexuality... I went from the safe non-sexual entity I was into an open mode, kissed a guy, wandered into "Experimentation" mode, tried to force myself on another guy, and in the process kissed two more. In the last 3 weeks. I don't know right now if I'm gay, straight, bi, or whatthefuck. I *DO* know that it's starting to feel painful, and worrisome regarding those involved. And I don't like that at all. Having talked this over to some of my confidants and longest-term friends, I think I'm going to defer these choices for a while and restore the asexual wall for a bit. I'm just...scared. And sorry....but not nearly as sorry as I know I'd be if I let a lot of things continue. I'll be back when I'm ready.

Some revolves around life in general...I'm sick of being busy. Every weekend I have between now and April is booked with housing hunts(except for a Disney weekend, which is my own fault), and the rest of that time is moving my shit to Auburn. I miss having a lazy day, where I could stay in bed till 9AM and relax...but life's little responsibilities are ganging up on me right now, and I have to man up to them. Let this be a warning to any future homeowners out there: it will consume your life, and your time. Be forewarned.

I'm just tired and confused and worried and just a tiny bit scared about it all...

At least there's a light, somewhere down this tunnel.
I will figure myself out.
I will buy a house.
I will get my sanity, time, and money back.
I will, and that's a promise.

And when I get there, it'll be on the shoulders of all of you... thank you for helping, for coaching, for doing everything you do for me. Especially you, darkone238, redstar918, vlyandra, tigerkakke and all the rest of you for your help, your understanding, and your patience. You four in particular are taking a lot of this stuff and helping me figure it out, and I'll be grateful to you for longer than I can even know.

Thanks to everyone for helping this confused bear find his way in this crazy new world he's found himself in. Peace be with you all.


P.S. Congratulations to chickensnack for getting Pocky and Rocky so fast! I'd never heard of that game when I made the screenshot, so who knew it would be so easy... well, tonight's is probably even easier. Good luck, and happy hunting!

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